Oh what a subject. What an all encompassing, bittersweet, heartfelt, completely satisfying and tumultuous part of our lives. This little four letter word we use to describe a gigantic but fleeting part of our lives has been talked about, sung about, revered, reviled, prayed for, pontificated over, lauded, learned, killed over, joked about, fancied, damned, and armored against.
Since I lost my wife, found my twin flame, lost my twin flame, started loving many others, felt love as an empath, and have been confused myself over how I feel towards others, I am getting the education of a lifetime about love. The question is, can I love without adding to my pure feelings? Can I love without projecting romance? Can I love without condition? Can I love without reserve? Can I just simply love? The other question that arises, is, can I be loved without romantic feelings? Can others love me without condition, projection and without reserve? Can others love me romantically, unconditionally and everything in between? Can I love them like that too?
Now, I cannot answer as to what others can or will do, nor can I even answer for me. I wish I could, but this journey is fluid and rough, not because of he path, but because of all the old I carry with me. I realize now that I have loved impurely in my life, that I have projected my desires instead of just loving. Like each of you, I have been taught to expect what I was supposed to feel, and everything else about how to love in our corporeal world. Add in my ego and I have not loved as purely as I could have. I am finding out how hard it is to let go of everything I desire when I love. It has not been easy to love without being loved back or loved as I had wanted to be loved. I also find it difficult to know what to do when others love me with their desires, which don’t necessarily coincide with my feelings.
The lesson I see myself learning is how to simply love without expectation, or desire, or a result other than just me loving. While this seems simple, it has not been easy. I believe that this kind of love is what we are supposed to feel for all beings, even if those feelings are not returned, and even when hatred is returned instead of love. From what I am experiencing, it is becoming clear that we are given gradients so we can learn person by person, relationship by relationship. From the pure love our dogs give us, to loving those we like, to our embrace of love for those who care nothing for us and even those who dislike us, this journey is about how to love purely and simply with nothing in return.
Unconditional love is the ultimate giving ,and the joy we find in that giving to those who cannot give in return. This is how we become comfortable with us while not requiring anything from anyone else. I can say from my experience, I like being loved maybe even more than I like loving. This is probably why I am living the lessons I am living right now. (This last part, is no longer the case. When I realized I was the answer I sought, and the love I wanted - now, I just love. Truly, this is a joyous thing.)
I do like loving and learning and practicing loving others just because it is fulfilling in ways I never knew existed. I will say this, I still hope that my twin flame will love me, as I do her. In the mean time though, I will keep working on just being naked in my loving and gardening, with nothing but love, and without selfish desirous results in my heart.
I hope if you are living this as I am, that you find your efforts fruitful and that in your love, alone, you are happy. I want you to know this, I love you, and will continue loving you just as you are, without anything in return. Should you love me, I of course will accept and rejoice in your love. Thank you.
For more on Love, click the images or links below.
Love Breathlessly
Being that time of year again, you know when dreams of spring are in the air, I thought it appropriate to share my thoughts on love. I think most of us have a notion of what love is and isn’t, but are we correct in our understanding. Most would agree about what love isn’t. Love is not berating or beating your partner, nor is it any number of other despic…
Love - Be Selfish & Go All In
Unfortunately, life in America is dictated by money, money to buy all the things we are taught into believing we have to have. In fact, the ”American Dream" of every American having their own home was concocted so that we would have a 30 year mortgage, so we would be good little workers that would stay with the companies we worked for. Over time, add in…
Lost, Lonely & Loveless
This writing is to offer hope to the lonely, those who feel forgotten, and to those who believe love has passed them by, or who have lost. During our lives most of us are driven to connect with someone special, our life’s mate. We are so compelled that we in many cases force round pegs into square holes. Through our …
